CW poem by Eric Nicholson

Here is a tribute to Colin by Eric Nicholson. See how many Wilson references you can spot!

Book title autobiographical sketch with special reference to the titles and themes of

Colin Wilson.

Looking backward, how much of my life was

a ritual in the dark?

I cultivated the strength to dream but

neglected my deeper self. . .

First I lived as a semi-steppenwolf and sang

a song of stone; light and

death were my companions.

I remember midnight

on the desert ( of time and stars)

in those desolate years. (The outsider archetype,

plagued by traumas and fears.)

With my backpack bulging I set off in search

of the miraculous, convinced I was more than

a ghost in a machine.

So, I was dreaming to some purpose, fighting

the war against sleep. For many years

I toiled along the mountain path. The dark night

of the soul part of the scene.

I decided too early that the way

ahead was in doing nothing. Yet even the masters

say their lives consisted of one mistake

after another! Light goes with darkness as

the steps in walking. Walk on!

The lifeforce is impersonal and is all

and everything; a flickering flame dancing​

through the aeons. (See a billion bipeds scurrying like bugs:

that’s you and me as well as sages and thugs.)

The trembling flame flickers through

a billion flickering life-forms and seems –

ceaseless and eternal. A thousand names

for joy!​

(This is the universe’s purpose; to become

conscious of itself. . .)

I am not who I thought I was. . .

I talk of dreams but practice the power

of now; no longer fear

and trembling quite as much.

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